Don’t try this at home:

By Piper Larson

Something funny happened to me last week.  It’s funny now, last week – not so much.  Oh the things I’ve done in the name of weight loss.

It all started because I’m heading to the beach this spring and thought I’d try to lose a few pounds first.

The Diet:

I had heard so many success stories from following low carb/high-protein diets and was intrigued.  But because I don’t eat red meat, I knew it would be difficult.  So I opted to do just one week on a protein diet.  All I consumed were low-fat/high-protein foods with a few veggies.  (In other words, tiny egg white & veggie omelets.)

I know – STUPID and unhealthy.  But I figured if I only did it for a week, it wouldn’t matter and plus I’d shed a few pounds quickly, which would be motivating to me.  It turned out to be such a bad week!  My body did NOT like the changes in diet, and let me know this at virtually every turn.

Day-by-Day Breakdown of my Protein Diet:

Day 1 – Hungry, grumpy, headache, miserable.

Day 2 – Getting the hang of this, maybe I could do this for 2 weeks if the weight starts flying off.

Day 3 – Feeling nauseous.  Mood deteriorates throughout afternoon.  Spent the evening crying about pretty much everything.  (And I am not normally a person who cries easily.)

Day 4 – Spent morning crying about the same things from the night before.  Late in the evening had an incident with my Wii Fit.  The program I was on at the time annoyed me and instead of just changing programs, I had this unexpected bit of anger.  I swear, I could literally feel my blood pressure rising.  Wanted to go all “rockstar” on the Wii Fit board and smash it against the floor.  Decided instead to walk away and call it a day.

Day 5 – While trying to work on the computer I found myself unable to spell simple words.  I spent at least 2 minutes trying to spell “monitoring.”  Kept trying to write “moniting.”  Couldn’t understand why spell check kept kicking it back.   I won’t even tell you all the other words I couldn’t spell.  They were even more lame.

Deciding not to be deterred by my diminished cognitive abilities I forged on.  Bad move.  Later that day, I somehow destroyed the formatting on DailyDivaDish which required outside technical assistance to fix.  (You may have noticed a few days without posts…it was because I literally broke the blog.)

And, don’t ask how, but somehow messed up an important Google Document that’s shared across our team at DailyDivaDish.  Thought I’d lost all our information, but was finally able to resolve the issue on my own.

Day 7 – Ate carbs.  Back to being me.  Thought it best to no longer be left to my own devices and ordered Nutrisystem instead.

Day 8 – Googled “protein diet” + “side effects.”  According to the info I found, these were pretty much all side effects of a high-protein diet.

Looking back it was actually pretty funny.  Stupid, but funny.  Have you ever done something silly to lose weight?  Please tell me I’m not alone on this one. 

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